Time Enough and Not
by Alyson
Summary: Sydney's thoughts ramble while waiting for Vaughn futurefic, vignette


Time Enough and Not  
  
By Alyson (alysfaire@aol.com)  
  
Spoilers: General show spoilers, nothing specific really.  
  
Pairing: Syd/Vaughn  
  
Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine, they belong to JJ Abrams, Bad Robot, ABC, Jennifer Garner and Michael Vartan, among others. Just borrowing them for a quick spin. No harm intended.  
  
Notes: This takes place about 3 years in the future. It's kind of a rambling vignette, if such a thing exists. Just came to me and I felt compelled to write it all down.  
  
Feedback: I'd love it! Be it constructive or just general ("Hey, it wasn't so bad it made my eyes bleed"), I'd love to hear what you thought and any ways you thought it could have been made better.  
  
Distribution: Can't imagine anyone would want it, but if you do, please ask first.  
  
  
  
Time. Goes by in a blink of an eye. Takes forever. You think back to that day long ago, the day that broke your heart. Crying in your room, while the grown ups gathered downstairs, whispering about how tragic it was, what a special woman, mother, wife, she was, wondering what would happen to the little girl left behind. And all you did was cry and wait for the clock to tick the day away so a new one could begin. It took forever.  
  
Then you blinked and you were graduating high school. Where did the time go?  
  
Blinked again and you were here, in a warehouse in a not-so-great part of LA, waiting to meet Vaughn for the hundredth time in the last 3 years. 3 years with the CIA. You thought it would be 3 months. Silly girl. On your 10 year anniversary with SD-6 Sloane gave you a lovely gold watch in appreciation of all your hard work for the agency. You wore it once and it turned your wrist green. It's buried in the bottom of a closet somewhere with other unwanted mementos.  
  
So here you sit, waiting for Vaughn, unusually late. Vaughn. Hmmm, you spend much too little time with Vaughn, you think. You try to keep things business-like when you're together, but neither of you can help letting your respective personal lives creep in on your meetings every once and a while. Hints of his latest girlfriend in the new tie he wears. Even how your latest date went. You laugh at that last thought, since it was so long ago. You wish he could have been there to dance with you at Francie and Charlie's wedding. You looked good, decked out as yourself, not done up in disguise, but just as Sydney. You think he would have liked the dress and your friends and dancing the night away in your arms.  
  
Business Syd, keep your mind on business.  
  
You're getting restless.  
  
Waiting for Vaughn.  
  
Waiting for SD-6 to be silenced.  
  
Waiting for Vaughn. For Michael, not Vaughn. The man, not the agent. Waiting for a time when you can really make it to that Kings game. Introduce him to your friends. Get that jealous moment over with that you know will happen when you introduce Vaughn to Will.  
  
Soft footfalls make you smile, for just a moment. You recognize the sound, know from the years of meetings that it's Vaughn.  
  
He rushes in, with apologies for being late. This is a post-mission meeting. Just going over what happened in Tibet. Milo Rambaldi's artifacts sure do get around. You start to wish the guy hadn't been such a genius, but then you'd have one less reason to be seeing Vaughn, so the cursing of Rambaldi goes unfinished.  
  
You assure him you're ok, everything went mostly as planned. The artifact is already in the hands of the CIA, the fake with SD-6.  
  
But your mind is wandering today. He smells good. He always smells good. It's rather distracting, more so today for some reason. You'd like to stand a little closer, but can't risk the temptation. He looks tired, though. A little rumpled. Must have been a long day at the office. You hope you don't contribute to the worry lines etched in his forehead, but you know you do.  
  
"Sydney, you ok?", he asks worriedly.  
  
You shake out of your reverie, with an abashed smile. "Yeah, I'm fine, sorry".  
  
You keep making him worry. Gotta stop that. If you could only have a couple of moments with him not tied to bringing down SD-6. Just a few, maybe you'd be a little less restless, more devoted to the cause. More cautious and less worrisome. And maybe he'd look a little less tired.  
  
A plan starts to form, less than a plan, a single thought. Put into action before you can finish it. It takes no time at all to cross the space between you. You're a woman of action, after all. You smile at the look that moves across his face in that instant… worry, a little bit of hope, uncertainty, and not a little wanting. Oh yes, that's there all right. The emotions flash across his face and you take them all in, to savor them later.  
  
But right now, is for you. The both of you. You don't stop to think about the Agency, either one. You don't stop to think about if he's still seeing Mindy (or was it Cindy?). Doesn't matter. You're here, she's not. If you can help it, you'll be in his life next week, next month, next year. She won't.  
  
You reach up and gently pull his head down, lips meeting lips. Gentle, insistent, hungry. So many emotions, so little time. His surprise lasts only an instant, less. Ok, maybe he's not so tired after all.  
  
The kiss lasts forever, yet is over in a moment.  
  
You break apart slowly, regrettably, with soft kisses. They need to last.  
  
You force yourself to let him go, to back over to your original spot over by a pile of crates. You can't take your eyes off him. Off his lips.  
  
"I'm sorry..", you utter, most feebly and not very heartfelt. You're not sorry about it, just sorry it's over. Not true, Syd, you're sorry because it's going to cause him to worry you've lost your mind.  
  
"Sydney, we can't…", he utters, apologetically, obviously frustrated and not a little confused by your sudden romantic outburst.  
  
"I know, I just..", just what, Syd? Couldn't stand it any longer? The not knowing how it would feel? Couldn't stand the thought Mindy/Cindy getting his valentine, his time, his heart? Go ahead, spit it out, you've gone this far already.  
  
"I just… I'm sorry", you finish rather lamely for a super secret agent. Being yourself isn't so easy after all. Now fully embarrassed you add with a sheepish grin, "Won't happen again". But you're mentally adding a "soon, not necessarily ever".  
  
Vaughn straightens, trying to recapture the agent/handler vibe that dissipated with a kiss. Also embarrassed and desperately fighting the urge to grab you, he clears his throat and then launches once again into the details he was trying to impart when you so easily got distracted.  
  
You straighten as well, listening intently, Agent Bristow once again.  
  
But you seized the moment, even if that's all it was. There's time enough for more another day, another month, another year. 


End file.
